Blood Girl - Nothing

Everything hurts everything hurts
And i can’t say nothing i can’t speak a word
Im bad at honesty when its in regards to me
I want to try not to cry not to say that i might
Commit su- i mean die i mean i want to live i want to
Sit in the corner of your armpit
Feeling like i exist
Feeling like i exist

I think im lonely but i am not
Im here right so i am not
I have friends and i feel fine
But things inside are like pain like
I have brain pain
I am crying in the shower
I am lying
When you ask me
Is it ok?
I say yes

Why can’t i speak
Why can't i say
I am not what u think
I am never ok

I brag to my friends
About finally being fine
While everything around me
Is slowly catching fire
Everything everything around me is breaking

Everything everything is slowly deteriorating

I am fucking up everything
Every friendship every tiny thing i thought i had
Is slipping thru my fingers
Falling onto everything

And i have all the obsessive thoughts again
All of them
And i dont want to see any of my friends
I want to be by myself

Tomorrow you’re gonna ask me like you always do
And i am gonna lie like i always think i have to

Did you sleep well
And i lie yes
Are you ok and i lie yes
Are you hungry
I lie no
Are you ok?
Im just tired
Can i help you
I say no
Can i hug you
And i pretend its like a no big deal
But its the only proof i have that i am real
All i want all i want is to sit and talk with you
Nothing nothing makes me feel like i matter except for that
I want to sleep
Sleep
I want to sleep on
Forever ever ever ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever