My Ruin - Horrible Pain

I invoke him
And he comes to me in my dreams dressed in black
He speaks in a language only I can understand
His hands are warm, his breath is hot
He is the horrible pain within my heart

My religion, my sanctuary, my church, my sacrifice
My profession my exorcism
My worship in progress
I have no other lover
Now until forever

He is magic and when he kisses me
I can taste him on my lips like an elixir
Far from innocent he is pure evil, a sinner's prayer
A saint's desire

For him, I would walk through fire
For him, I have walked through fire
To draw him I want so bad
One gift I'll never have

He drives a stake into my soul, makes me bleed
Makes me whole, drinks me
Devours me, intoxicates me, with his love
Hate, devotion, faith, as beautiful as Jesus Christ
He is as brutal as the depths of Hell

In my dreams, I press my mouth agains his
And I feel Heaven, horror, terror
He looks at me with that look I call his serial killer look
Like he wants to fuck me and kill me all at the same time

It scares me
It turns me on, his eyes are brown his stare is intense
Meaningful, powerful, maybe that's why he is so fucking scary
Because he means it

Sometimes he tells me he loves me as he looks at me with that look
Sometimes he doesn't have to
I've never felt a man look at me with that look
It's almost freaky, uncomfortable, sexy

I guess I know he could never really
Chop off my hands, or could he?