CheffaMC - $adduct

Smoking im choking my lungs out
When cheffa’s around bring the blunts out
Remembering days i would blaze it for fun but i need it to live it’s no fun now

Feeling alone in a bud cloud
Only wanna make my mum proud
People tryna give me tips and lessons
I won’t get the message ‘less you dumb it down

I’ve been space cadeting running reckless round
Now i’m real reclusive never leave the house
But it doesn’t matter where or what i’ve been
Because i been always sinning never feelin proud

I been never winning, call me fishy-fishy cos i’m sleeping with em
Laying underwater getting foggy vision
I can’t see the exit, nearly out of breath and now i’m stressing restless both my feet are kickin

Fuck
I don’t know what i expected to happen if i kept on rapping
But
It presented me stresses i couldn’t imagine and i couldn’t hack it
Ugh
Lay back on my mattress and think of the days
I was on wasted on tablets
Still nothing has changed except for my habits i blaze like an addict
Maybe cos i am
I remember thinking that i really was a man
Nowadays i’m thinking that i’m better off as sand
Yeah i used to want it all but i could really give a damn

I’m feeling lost i can’t formulate a plan
Will i live until i’m 30? i don’t really think i can
Everything is hurting i got fractures in my hands
And if i remember nothing then for once i might be glad

It’s becoming a chore
Writing these stories it feels so laborious but i don’t have an escape left
Living is boring there’s nothing here for me i try to get help they say take meds

It’s true what they say nah the drugs never work so why do i constantly chase them
Alone with my thoughts, even in company bruh i just want to escape it

Livid feelings got me itchy itchy as i’m tensing up and i get cold and wiggy
Teeth are gritting i can’t stop the shiver drinking 8%ers till i rot my liver
I no longer wanna feel a thing, now i get infuriated when i speak
I’m sick of coughing up black in the sink, black out drunk is how i’m falling asleep

And when i’m asleep i don’t wanna wake
I’ve been given choices i don’t wanna make
Got a funny taste from this lemonade and i’m hearing voices dunno what their saying
Looking back yea i shoulda been a better mate
But i’m not so instead i’m gonna head away
Burning sage hoping that i’ll maybe get erased
Cos i’m too bitch i don’t know another get away

Levitating wanna rise above i think it’s fuck the physical i’m not in love with it
Matter fact i think i’m fucking done with it
I’m dead already it’s no longer fun to live
I wanna be spread in the sea
I need a way to forget everything
I been forgetting how it feels to be free
Feeling trapped it’s a struggle to breath