Benevolent Sin - Ironic

{verse 1}
Isn’t it ironic how i thought you were the best for me but i feel better with you off my mind?
Isn’t it ironic how i thought you would invest in me but really you just made it so i think i wanna die?
Isn’t it ironic how i thought that i was blessed to be your partner when i’m just part of your never-ending line?
Wait
Isn’t it ironic how you thought you knew the rest of me but couldn’t even tell why i was messed up inside?
I can’t provide for the price of your love
It got me craving suicide knowing i ain’t enough
You got me swallowing my pride, tryna last with you for one more month
Baby, this is what it sounds likе when doves cry
When lovе dies
To untie me i slide the knife
Cut ropes that bind me by my wrists with deeper scars every night
I never wanted any part of this life
I only wanted your love
Still don’t know what you wanted me to provide
I only wish i could’ve gave you that
Cause every night these thoughts invade my brain and they attack
Still terrified that you’ll forget me when it fades to black
Still terrified because i think that i’d still take you back
I’d still take you back
Everything i ever did or said was out of love for you
All the secrets, blood, and tears i shed still weren’t enough for you
Cause i’m accessory to subterfuge
Trusted living under you but now i’m stuck below and so i

{bridge}
I don’t really go outside
I just dig a hole online that i can’t get out
Working all this overtime
But i won’t earn another dime
No, i
I don’t really go outside
I just dig a hole online that i can’t get out
I don’t really go outside
I don’t really go outside
All these concepts in my mind
Feel depressed and then i turn it into rhymes
Cause you’re no longer on my timeline
Tried drowning pain in the grind
But i’m still stuck inside my room
I’m drowning change in the grime
Because i
I don’t really go outside
I just dig a hole online that i can’t get out
Working all this overtime
But i know that she won’t be mine

{verse 2}
Isn’t it ironic how i thought you knew the problems that consumed me when these problems trailed back to you not knowing me at all?
Isn’t it ironic how i thought you’re speaking truly when you proved to me that you would never catch me when i fall?
No
Isn’t it ironic after all the times you screwed me, when i’m down you’re still the first one that i ever think to call?
I’ll move on when i leave in the fall
I promise you i’ll move on and then you’ll really lose me once and for all
I hope that hurting me was worth it
Back when i was something to you i thought you were perfect
Wait
Now i’m all alone and don’t deserve it
Desperate to hold on but you’re relentless with your current
Drowning and i have no one to pull me to the surface
Is there water in my lungs why can’t you hear the way i’m hurtin’?
Thought your love was priceless but you’re serving as a merchant
Now i’ve fallen victim to your unconcerning curses
It wasn’t worth it

{refrain}
I don’t really go outside anymore
Cause everything i see outdoors
Is a reminder of you
Can’t get you out of my head
Wish my dream never came true
Of being the one in your bed
Cause it was all lies and heartbreak
From the first date to the last
And we ain’t made to move on fast
Sink or swim
I resigned to drown in the past
It wasn’t worth it

Regrets consuming you more and more every day
There is no returning to the way things were
Your fate is sealed