Missing Link - New York Minute

Where should I begin?
With the state that I’m in
Don’t know that my perception’s clear
Everything I love replaced
By everything I fear

Everything I fear
Fingers pried from everything I hold dear
I can’t let them beat me
But death has always been my destiny

Self sabotage and thoughts so twisted
They’d kill me if they could
In my New York minute
Now they’re coming
Kicking down the door
Is there a place in hеaven
If I send 'em to you, Lord?

I know I been wrong
I know I’vе lied
Tied up, bled out
For the pain I feel inside

Searching for answers I can’t find
Lost in endless hallways
Losin my mind
Paranoia creeps
Visions of my enemies killing me in my sleep
Through the years nothing changed
Lost peers to pain and never been the same
Why come me for me?
I don’t know
But who’s that peekin’ in my window?
Self sabotage and thoughts so twisted
They’d kill me if they could
In my New York minute
Now they’re coming
Kicking down the door
Is there a place in heaven
If I send 'em to you, Lord?

In the middle of the night
I hear a noise
And feel something just ain’t right
Slide out of my bed
Make it to the closet
Find my weapon
Kill the light
Cock it

Finger on the trigger
Manic, sweating
Ready to pull it
I hear whispers from the bullet
If I kill 'em
God won’t take my soul
But who’s that peekin’ in my window?