Ruin Your Day - Red Flag vs. Sketch Menace

{round 1: red flag}
First on me, right?
Pigsty hit me for a ruin your day battle
Funny enough, a random one was offered
Oh, okay
It’s ‘cause we both skate
I understand it - what a shocker
I hope your name flips better than your kickflips
This man is an impostor
Probably got rob dyrdek and bam margera hangin’ in your locker
You are the past, i am the future
You know canada’s been conquered
Now you have (half) to face the music like the phantom of the opera
He thinks he’s snappin’, but can’t get reaction
God damn, it’s fuckin’ awkward
Makes sense his name sketch
He don’t be landin’ nothin’ proper
It’s comedy, mad tv
At his peak, sketch writing was only second-best
Since then, he’s been left for dead
They checkin’ for him less and less
Ain’t really been bookin’ him in years
And after this, he’ll get to rest
‘cause he’ll get shook and disappear
A tombstone’s what i’ll etch of sketch (etch-a-sketch)
I did watch you vers’ real deal…’cause chef a star
Like, “i don’t really fuck with sketch, but let me double-check if chef said these bars”
Then i opened a new tab to listen to sketch’s part
And could’ve sworn it was an opinion piece on npr
You should be in broadcasting
You could make yourself a legend with the right brand
‘cause your voice sounds like dave chappelle’s impression of a white man
It’s vancouver to san fran’
‘cause after this, i’m probably chillin’ in the bay all week
Got your death lined up
Now you’re the center of attention like draymond green
You need at least a round
I’m bettin’ you waste all three
A-ha! sketch was in his own world wantin’ to take on me!
Wait, i just remembered this is, like, a skateboard thing
My fault for forgettin’
And i promise i got skateboarding bars in the second
But here go a free sample:
Kareem campbell - he hardly gets credit
Funny i’m already a star in your city, and city stars started as menace!

{sketch menace}
Let’s go!

{red flag}
Just like them, i can’t put the bottle down
The party is endless
Gotta drink on every stage, no questions asked: chardee macdennis
Tony hawk pro litigator, this part is your sentence
‘cause i’m an animal in court like mario tennis
What you’re doing’s legal
Just a battle rapper
But look like you earn trust from people just to tattle after
Your homies learn you’re deceitful, you gon’ have to answer
How their man turned to a weasel like jak and daxter
You on some snitch shit
I’m a switch-hitter
Drunk out my mind with a bat, i’m mickey mantle
Nah, you mickey…
They’ll be outlinin’ this rat like the disney channel
It’s been handled
The boy deserved it
Plus my form was perfect
Shoulda seen the look on your mom’s face, nothin’ more disturbin’
Like when she tried to get you ready for school after that alarm you ignored on purpose
She can’t wake you up, and she’s a mourning (morning) person
Wake up, zachary

{sketch menace}
Let’s go

{round 1: sketch menace}
Yo, i ain’t tryna have no fuckin’ back-and-forth debate, wit’ no jackson cory yates
But fuck it - for the channel, i been askin’ for a plate
They gonna have to put me on watch after this statutory rape
So i’m shatterin’ his dreams
‘cause your bad delivery mixed with the talent that he brings is less than average to me
But jackson really thinks that he has some traction in this thing
Like just ‘cause he has the ginger gene, that he can rap like tricky p
But don’t be so stupid
See, my generation wrote you the blueprint
And you little carbon copy bloggers aren’t showin’ improvement
But you in the presence of your god, this is holy communion
A red flag about to fall like the soviet union!
‘cause when i retired, i did it without severance pay
So i told pigsty to put a head on my plate
He said, some rookie on the come up wants to discredit my name?
I told him, “flag better stay at half mast. this a veteran’s day”
‘cause he might look like he’s el-p, but his mike don’t sell seats
And that’s why his girl spent the night beside me
Sayin’ i could slide inside her pussy like a microsd
So when she lifted up her skirt, i thought “i might as well see.”
And that’s when i reached inside her pink box like a nike sb
So go ahead and run the jewels i dropped, ‘cause i left a fortune
And the videos are proof, there ain’t a textbook shortage
And if you wanna take this to skating, i got a left hook for him
If this goofy bitch wanna put his best foot forward
‘cause in king of the dot, the kid was the champ
He’d rather be on king of the road stickin’ things in his ass
But in either sport, homie, you ain’t going the distance
But welcome to leeside, this a historical privilege
And you should be honored we got some locals to witness
Me make you fold under bridges like it’s a yoga position
It’ll be a sobering vision when i knock him off his feet
We at a skate park, but when you see a body drop, it’s not a hall of meat
So get outta pocket, i’ll let you hang from the viaduct
Or rot in a foxhole while you prayin’ to die young
Either way you wanna cut it, i’m still takin’ his life, son
So by the end of this, red flag better be waving a white one!

{round 2: red flag}
We the only ones here, so you could finally be a headliner
Me? i’m the first behind the wheel of every new foreign like a test driver
Wanted poster at the police station if sketch flyer
Cremation, i’m dead fire!
Right next to menace crib, like mr. wilson
Let me in! i’m wit’ a chick - we’re chillin’!
Where’s your liquor cabinet? i need two bottles
I’m at sketch pad…wit’ a nude model
Man, these lines will make your girl flip
And we’ll dip back to that bird house (birdhouse)
Now you’ll look at that girl differently
Y’all got any plan b?
You’re blind if you can’t see that’ll be why you’ll get curved instantly
You’re out of your element, only almost relevant in your little scene
When all over the globe, i’m packin’ vans with supplies
I’m talking world industries!
Now i don’t usually work in these schemes
But i catch you smirkin’, my g, i will dent your shit
Lemme explain it, fam’
You thought i was just naming brands? double check them lists
I gave you some boards, then threw in the shoes, and i meant to, bitch
In that order, ‘cause i’m saying you’ll get decked, then kicked!

{sketch menace}
Let’s go!

{red flag}
Forehead gets split!
You bet that shit will start gushin’ at first
But you only got stunned
Tony hawk 1, the blood’ll look worse
Gimme a couple minutes, this shit’ll look like the punisher’s work!
‘cause with zero remorse, i’ll leave pieces of your skull on your shirt!
So watch your mouth
If i don’t feel what he talkin’ ‘bout, his teeth fallin’ out
And this shit’ll make the news - it’s already three blogs about it
And we gon’ keep boxing ‘til the police got the scene all surrounded
In this battle, i’m being extra extra
Read all about it!
My man lexx luthor said he met you back when king of the dot was in its infancy
He recently hit the scene and was meetin’ some people in the league
Met you and saw a collection of hand-painted toys, these little things
You know how nerds be paintin’ their toys and shit?
If they saw these, then they’d scream
They’d stare in awe and disbelief, hallowed and pristine
Lexx said, “hey, i like your dolls, man.”
“they’re not dolls! they’re figurines!”

{sketch menace}
They’re dolls

{red flag}
There was a long pause, deadly quiet
Sketch was silent, mr. bean
I’m lost, dawg, i don’t disagree
But ain’t no real difference to them shits to me
Figurines?
The fact you have to call ‘em that makes it all even more corny
He asks his girl, “could you be a figurine and run on down to the store for me?”
So he can keep painting his dolls
But hey, do you, dude - it’s a free country
I better stop makin’ fun of him…
He might have a voodoo figurine of me!
That ain’t even the half of it
Just be glad i’m a nice guy, in my prime
You’ve wasted the last of your lifelines
You were established in canada, even battled on grind time
Sketch’s run way too long…saturday night live
You been forgotten, my man
Them punches not gonna land
You just buyin’ yourself some time like a property scam
Why i gotta spell it out for him when he miss a flip, if he can skate?
We got a problem, bitch? an ollie flip
Next time i pop off the nose will be his face
Break a leg with that stunt
You’ll get dropped over stares (stairs) like the leap of faith
The footage ‘bout to be on another level: this the secret tape!
Cut!

{round 2: sketch menace}
Bro, you are the poster boy for charmin softness
If someone dropped you off in the scarborough projects, it’d be hard to process
‘cause the whole “i’m gonna stab you” act is horrible
So when you put it in your raps, it’s comical
Cause not even you believe you have a gun
You’re like, “that’s impossible!”
So he thinks we’ll believe he packs a blade, as if that’s more plausible
Shit makes me wonder what you did in grade 1
When you and the other kids would play guns
They’d be like, “jackson, wanna play?”
And he’d be like, “sure, guys. but i don’t like nerf guns, so i brought my own nerf knife!”
And since then, he’s been so obsessed with tuckin’ blades, he even brings them on his fuckin’ dates
Looks up while he cuts his steak like, “imagine this was someone’s face”
And with that topic, you’d think that she’d be more than flattered
But that sort of banter made the enjoyment factor go dormant after
…so he stabbed her
So if homie tries to pull a blade like he’s stabbing me?
I’d put a red dot on flag like he’s japanese
‘cause the whole shit reminds me of this meme i seen before
Where there’s this picture of a battlefield with firearms and infantries galore
And there’s this lonesome guy standing there in the middle of the war
Goin’ “hurry! get me closer! i wanna hit them with my sword!”
So go ahead and spin your blades around like you gonna give the fans a show
I’d just pull out my gun and shoot you like i’m indiana jones
‘cause regardless of the bullshit that you’ve tucked inside your rhymes
Whether it’s a gun or it’s a knife, whichever way you’d cut it, it’s a lie
But it stumps me as to why you’d think it hasn’t been done, pal
The knife schtick been played, so don’t give me the run-‘round
24/7 did it in ‘09, and your version is dumbed down
And the reason he ain’t here is ‘cause it sucks then and it sucks now
Shit, i almost thought i got my wi-fi hacked
‘cause every time this white guy raps
It feels like my timeline’s back in fuckin’ grind time chat
So i’ve had it up to here with this keebler elf
Rehashing other lines that other people have dealt
So i wish i had a better way to say this, and you probably won’t even get it, but well…
It’s crazy…history has a strange way of repeating itself

{round 3: red flag}
You waited ‘til the last minute and didn’t have writtens
Shit, i don’t have ‘em either - son trash!
Every fuckin’ battle you’ve ever done thoroughly sucks ass
But if you tried for this, maybe you coulda gotten some love back
Couldn’t have jotted some shit down, sketch?
Your name is a rough draft
I won’t talk about that chain you shoulda never had
But i’mma go for your neck
Legends have shown you the ropes, but they’ve never shown you respect
Some soundcloud rapper you just wrote for wouldn’t throw you a check!
You ghosted his verses…he ghosted your text!
And you aired it on facebook, just to show what you’d been through
Like, “getting robbed wasn’t enough. they all need to know i’m a bitch too.”
And what do you think the dude did after he posted about it?
Yup - cursed him out even worse ‘cause now he knows he can clown him
You such a fuckin’ lame
That’s one thing about you that just doesn’t change
You’d probably run your chain
What a shame
All this from a dude who reps “money gang”
You know, for someone giving out bars for free, that’s a funny name
Now every round, you fightin’ through a rocky three like clubber lang
Type to battle on ruin your day and get pocket checked
Feel like i lost a bet
And this dork got the nerve to talk glocks and tecs
In the cleanest part of the city, like, “they never expected that i would pop the lead!”
Thinks he’s leonardo da vinci
You ain’t ahead of your time with a chopper, sketch!
Imagine zachary clappin’ heat
Bro is pathetic
Up-and-comers should look at his career, let that joke be a lesson
I’m pushing your buttons ‘bout this gun shit, or else they won’t get the “message!”
So let me weigh in (wayans) and say, “basically, don’t be a menace!”
What, is sketch supposed to mean you quick to draw?
I’m not convinced at all, and shit, it’s a shame
How when king of the dot and don’t flop was beefing, you’d get in the way
‘cause you ran a division, but wait
Overseas, you were known as a boss no one respected like ricky gervais
You even look stupid as a ghostwriter (ghost rider): you nicolas cage!
I said, after this, it’s the bay
From san francisco it’s straight to colombia
‘cause i’d be in narcos if it was written today
Sometimes i’ll fly to spend a week in medellin on business and stay
Permanent resident status, bitch, i’m practically citizen ‘caine
You what we call a clown, i’m all around, it isn’t the same
You ain’t street, so vert was the only mode you could pick in the game
When he ran his division, yeah, they didn’t get the biggest of names
Maybe ‘cause after he lost to dna, he watched day’ take a shit on the stage!

{sketch menace}
It’s true. he did.

{red flag}
Now the best you’ll get is, “remember sketch?”
It’s over, dawg, no excuses
Been mediocre for so long and we do not know his music
But if anyone can make sketch relevant, avo’ can do it
This was strictly for the platform like a console exclusive

{round 3: sketch menace}
So it’s clear you’re mad i pushed this back, and now i look like an asshole
But i had shit to do, bro
Plus, it was for the good of the channel
So i sincerely apologize that i had to push back your travels
But it just took me hella long to get through one of your battles
Said, every time you ask for the weekend off to battle rap, i’ll bet your law firm’s gettin’ furious
Like, you must be awfully delirious if you think your colleagues take you serious
‘cause you act like your hobbies are just something that your job is interfering with
Like, “the johnson account was late, boss. i was learning to ollie off a pyramid.”
So there’s gotta be a better way to use your talents, ‘cause this shit’s bound to fail
Wannabe loui dallas
Bitch, i’ll holler at you if i’m tryin’ to get out of jail
But i guess this is just how brooklyn do
Every time i look at you
I get this weird urge to gentrify every bodega that i look into
Shit, i even heard you were behind the ads that ibattle was running
Pyramid schemes ran by young hustlers, huh?
Shit, even i laughed like it’s funny
Until i left the room for five minutes while the battle was running
And i got scammed out of my money by diamond capital funding!
Shit, red flag meets with their sponsors on a phone conference meeting
Their sole sponsor being…charron’s water heating
And it’s funny ‘cause the premise for that lies
In you trying to turn your league into a relevant franchise by selling us gas lines
‘cause y’all act like a angry crowd in south park when a huge line gets dropped
‘cause when you guys go off, all of a sudden, you’re a confused violent mob
‘cause when my homie does well, i dap ‘em up like, “yo, you really did dope, dawg.”
You hear a half-decent punchline and start rippin’ their clothes off
Shit, if someone landed a real bar, you’d probably give ‘em a blowjob!
Shit, the whole production is a blatant crutch
I showed your battles to my gay homies, and they told me you were gay as fuck
‘cause the way that group of people boost your ego
It’s like you go from lou ferrigno to superhero
Every time you hear “talk that shit!”
Or “get him a fuckin’ soda!”
Y’all start hittin’ tables like kramer when he sees joe dimaggio dunkin’ donuts
Shit, the way every crowd member has to have their funny moment
You’d think ibattle was paying out an interruption bonus!
So you overreact in hopes that it’ll boost your channel
And it’d be alright if you had good bars, but you don’t have those
So if ya haven’t seen their little two-horse battles
Imagine a room where every person is fuckin’ uno lavoz
‘cause you started from trying to write about the guys that write battles
To trying to write battles
Which makes me wonder how the whole recruitment side’s handled
‘cause it’s come to the point where the talent pool is so dry in ibattle
That you just drive to white castle
And wait for someone to sit there and say, “well, why don’t i battle?”
So i’mma leave it at that because the homies told me to be nice
‘cause there’s a solid chance that one day i’ll need some legal advice