Ren - Troubles

Ohh lordy
Ooh lordy, troubles
Ooh, troubles so hard
Ooh lordy, troubles
Ooh lordy
Ooh lordy, troubles
Ooh, troubles so hard

{verse}
I don't reach into the past very much for these shards of shattered glass and harsh paper cuts
Leave me
{??} when i'm reaching, memories acetan, hydrochloric acid, i go to war and get passive and freeze 'em
Music helped the ice to thaw, put the the chisel in the middle, swing the hammer of thor
Pull it out of the impossible, exalibur sword, etching notepads full of reasons why my feelings are sorе

The first day that i got sick, ejectеd from the cockpit of living, nineteen, young teen waking up bitter
Posters up, man hunt, ren went missing
Hard to have faith when the gods don't listen
The first year maybe was the hardest, waking in the body that was buried like a carcass
Brain in the lion's den, body in the shark pit, waking up in pain again, aching brokenhearted
Persistent little bugger, i was bouncing from a doctor-to-a-doctor-to-a-doctor like a table tennis game that has no end
So be the fate of ren, every single question answered with a question on the end

The second year i came to terms with giving up my dreams, mind was severed from the means to help me write these rhyme schemes
Brain was inflamed, the fatigue was crushing, hard to remain sane with your brain combusting

And the third year was murder, living in the purga-tory full of worry, wouldn't live to be thirty
Lifestyle hurt me, always in my bed tomb, rearrange the alphabet and all the letters spell doom
Light hurt my eyes, poppin' pills to survive, when you're twenty-three and mentally you steadily decline
Twenty-four i was poor, disability benefits, what's the benefit of disability? it's irrelevant
Twenty-five and the scars that were etched, they crack, elastic bands only stretch so far and then snap
Deep in psychosis, hallucinations, troubled vision; visions from the underworld were conjuring my superstition
Twenty-five, living back at home with my mum but not because i'm a bum, alone and physically done
So thin, so frail, so weak i'd become and my skin, so pale, never kissed by the sun
One time i carved a hole in my chest just to feel; i wish that was a metaphor, the struggle was real
When you're living in the holocaust, you buckle and kneel
There's relief in the teeth at the kiss of cold steel
Fact

Twenty-six, i'm highly medicated and the pain sophisticated while i'm lying broken, naked on my back
I bore my microphone until my coughing started dropping raw thoughts with the grim reaper knocking on the track
But then, man, lo and behold, i heard an angel beckon on this treachorous road
It was a stemcell doctor with a generous glow, and the cell transplant brought me out of the cold
And my skin got younger and my body got stronger and my stomach felt hunger for a door that was closed
And my soul heard music for the first time beauty was a word i used for this gift of gold

Oh lord, i forgive you
Lord, i forgive you
Lord, i forgive you
Make me whole
This music i give you
Pain that i live through
Everything i been through, is yours to hold

{outro - troubles by vera hall remix}
Ooh lordy, troubles so hard
Ooh lordy, troubles so hard
Don't know my troubles but god
Don't know my troubles but god
Ooh lordy
Ooh lordy, troubles so hard