Chas & Dave - The Romford Rap

He’s Tony
He’s Steve
He’s Neal
He’s Jim
He’s Terry
He’s Den
He’s Willy

We’re gonna do the Romford Rap for you, though you might think it's silly
But believe you me it's how they all talk snooker in the matchroom club
Its rhyming slang, c’mon everybody, all pin back your lugs

Now to start the game, upon the cane, there’s 22 bugle calls
For those of you that are confused, that's 22 snooker balls
Now 15 of them are newly weds, then you got the old rubber kite
Newly weds, well they’re the reds
And the rubber kite’s the white

It's the Romford Rap
The Romford Rap
Open up your trap and give it some of that

Whether you’re a paddy, you’re a taff, or you’re a jock or a (?...)
Whether you're a yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black
From Brixton (?...) the Watford Gap
You can do the Romford Rap
Now the next balls called a runner bean
Another is the Ivor Novello
The runner bean, well that's the green
And the Ivor, that's the yellow

There’s an elderdown and a superglue
Then you got the kitchen sink
The name of the black is the chimney stack
And that’s the lot, I think

That’s how to do the Romford Rap
Now you’ve all been clued in
We’ll leave the rest to work out yourselves
Alright let's begin!

Now pick yourself a nice Asian flu
You can Hereward the wake
Hit that rubber straight down the cane
I tell you that's a piece of cake

Now split up the bugles, and if you’re lucky mate
You might sky a newly wed
Then if you can’t see a way to pot the chimney
Try to sink the kitchen instead

Now, now and again you get an awkward one
And a Georgie is required
Try to sky another newly wed
Or any bugle that's desired
If you’re on form you’ll clear the cane
For a maximum Hereward
If you ever do it on the auntie nelly now
That would not be good!

It's the Romford Rap
The Romford Rap
Open up your trap and give it some of that

Whether you’re a paddy, you’re a taff, or you’re a jock or a (?...)
Whether you're a yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black
From Brixton (?...) the Watford Gap
You can do the Romford Rap

Whether you’re a paddy, you’re a taff, or you’re a jock or a (?...)
Whether you're a yellow, green, brown, blue, pink or black
From Brixton (?...) the Watford Gap
You can do the Romford Rap