Will VanWart - Dear Dad

Dear dad
Ever since you left
I've been tryna fill this void
That's been sitting in my heart
But i continuously avoid
Tryna cope with the fact
I'll never hear your voice again

Wanna go back
To when i played with toys again
Cherish memories we made
And rejoice the end
But i can't go back
So i guess my head is stuck
In this loop where i feel
Like i'm forced with regrets

Man i hope that i'm gon'
See you at those heaven gates
You were my perfect imperfection
Just likе kevin gates
You're thе root to all my stories
And i know it comes off corny
But your memory's
The painful picture i'ma paint
You were strong minded
Man i wish i had your mental state
I tried to build myself like you
But my blueprint is blank
The people in my life
Keep saying i should off myself
But i'ma make you proud
So i stary strong
I think it's worth the wait

I remember when i first
Let you listen to my songs
Said i had potential
Dad, i hope you weren't wrong
I contemplate if i should give up
And forget it all
Drink alcohol
And pull all of this weed smoke
From out a bong

But i'm not the type to resort to drugs
I'm tryna get my life together
Push shit under the rug
But i know
That's how things always come back
And bite me
That's what you always told me
That's how you'd always fight things
You would put all of your problems
Tucked away in the past
You would focus on us
And make the memories last
You didn't care about no money
You just cared about our laughs
And making sure me and my sister
Got our gowns and our caps

Well
Wish you were here
So i could say it to your face
But me and christina
Both made it to that stage
You'd always say you want to
See the day we graduate
But i know that you were watching
With that smile on your face man

But i wish that you were physically there
Grabbed my diploma
Looked out in the crowd
And i stared
Said to myself
"man i wish my father was here
But he's in a better place
I know his spirit is there"
I know i said i'd go to college
Make you proud
But music's what i want to do
I think i found my sound
And maybe i won't make it
And maybe i'll get clowned
But what matters is my message
Is out there to be found

Yeah
And your stories being told
They can't see my words
Then i guess i'll make them bold
Cause everything about you
Is like a pot of gold
You're a rarity
Someone who was humble
And it showed

Once you left
I just felt my heart turning cold
An absence in my life
That forever i'll hold
Cause it's been five years
And you're still on my mind
People tell me to move on
And go live out my life

It takes time
That i dont really have
I'll live my whole life
Holding onto the past
When they tell me to move on
I just sit back and laugh
Cause why would i move on
From losing my dad