Will VanWart - Origins

I was in the first grade
I was lost and confused
Had no friends that i knew
All they knew was my name

So i started singing songs
With the groups that i made
Cause my dad showed me songs
Had no clue how they're made

But i knew all the words
And i knew how it played
So i sang them with the kids in my grade
All they knew was my name

That's until they liked a new idea that i had
I should do my own thing
Put the pen to the pad

Write my own lyrics
Knowing they were wack
But the mission was to be the favorite kid in the class
Just a kid with a pad

Just a kid with a pad
But all those kids
They didn't mean shit
They all left me
When i hit grade six

I really thought music
Meant i found my niche
But i tried out band
And the kids said to quit

Tried playing sports
But i never had the touch
So i though to switch gears
But i didn't hit the clutch

So i stalled for some years
Getting bullied getting punched
All the rich white boys
Making fun of the rust on my dad's truck

Mom's car too
Didn't grow up rich
But we sure had food
In our stomach's everyday
At home after school
My dad worked doubles
And my mom worked too

Didn't see my dad a lot in junior high
He worked all day coming home late at night
High school came and put my life in a blender
Never expected my dad to get cancer

But emotions aside
My life needed difference
I would write songs
But this time would be different

Knew i had a passion
But never had a vision
Made a couple lyrics
I was flexing hella riches that i never had

I would say in my songs i had hella racks
Even went as far to say
I was smoking gas
But i never touched drugs
Mom was on my ass

I remember i was lying
I was tryna get some eyes
To read my lyrics and my lines
And i was rhyming with the people
In the line to get some lunch
I was freestyling in my mind
Making punch lines
The ones i liked
I got my mic and made a bunch
Of at the time was a hit

Really it was shit
I made some music videos
By merging hella clips
With my phone to record it

Thought i'd be enormous
But the kids at my school
Said my voice was annoying

Then my mom sent a text
"there's something you should know
You, me, and dad are gonna talk when you're home"

I was in math class
Teacher saw my hand shaking
So i told him what was happening
He said to be patient

"but dad has cancer
Im worried he won't make it
It's at stage four
It's taken over in his pancreas."

"nothing you can do
But to do these math equations."

I said f*ck you b*tch
I'ma need to book it to my house
On my bike
Made it there in five

Walked right in
Saw the look in the eyes
Of my sister who was crying
I could tell my dad was dying
When he told me

"come over and sit down beside me
I'ma need to spend a couple of nights in the hospital
If i wanna keep my life it's not optional
But before i leave, i think it's only right i promise you
I'm kicking cancers ass
And i'll be back as soon as possible."

Mom looked at me and said
"son it's gonna be okay."
But three months later is when he passed away
I woke up june 5th
With tears on my face
Knowing now that my life was never going to be the same

Knowing now that my life will forever be changed
From the pain