Episode One - Let's Start a War
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Way down south there’s some bastards on an island
And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Australia
They’ll crucify you, they’ll beat and jail ya
Like a street dog they’ll impale ya
They say that war is crazy but I disagree
It makes the most sense to me
No one wants to know the truth and hear my brave message
Let’s teach those bastards a lesson
We’ll burn down all their jungles, we’ll topple all their forts
We’ll turn their beaches into glass
We’ll dry up their rivers and block all their ports
We’ll make ‘em lеarn our sports
Our politicians won’t take out this tyrant
Just ‘cause it might get violеnt
But I refuse to remain so peaceful and silent
Let’s start a war on Christmas Island
They’ve got a population of fourteen hundred and two
Our big old bombs will turn them to goo
To protect the shores of Kentucky and Tennessee too
We’ll turn their brains to stew
Our politicians won’t take out this tyrant
Just ‘cause it might get violent
But I refuse to remain so peaceful and silent
Let’s start a war on Christmas Island
And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout Australia
They’ll crucify you, they’ll beat and jail ya
Like a street dog they’ll impale ya
They say that war is crazy but I disagree
It makes the most sense to me
No one wants to know the truth and hear my brave message
Let’s teach those bastards a lesson
We’ll burn down all their jungles, we’ll topple all their forts
We’ll turn their beaches into glass
We’ll dry up their rivers and block all their ports
We’ll make ‘em lеarn our sports
Our politicians won’t take out this tyrant
Just ‘cause it might get violеnt
But I refuse to remain so peaceful and silent
Let’s start a war on Christmas Island
They’ve got a population of fourteen hundred and two
Our big old bombs will turn them to goo
To protect the shores of Kentucky and Tennessee too
We’ll turn their brains to stew
Our politicians won’t take out this tyrant
Just ‘cause it might get violent
But I refuse to remain so peaceful and silent
Let’s start a war on Christmas Island
