Saturday Night Live - Lake Beach

(Spoken)

{MUDPUDDLE}
Lately it's been gettin' a little cold up north, but further south it's still, like, 90 degrees. Now in these parts we may not have the biggest cities and we may not have the oceans, but we've found something even better to do

(Chorus 1)
Drinkin' on a lake beach
Hangin' on a lake beach
Ice-cold beers
With friends we've had for years
Down on a lake beach

(Verse 1)
Butt-brown water only up to my knees
Down at the bottom there's three feet of leaves
Got poison ivy from whizzin' in the trees
Down on a lake beach

Slippin' on slimy rocks all day long
Off-duty cop is smokin' a bong
Big snappin' turtle just bit me on my dong
Down on a lake beach

(Chorus 2)
Hangin' on a lake beach (Kids sneakin' a sip)
Lake beach (Didn't know it was dip)
My best friend's wife just kissed me on the lips
Down on a lake beach
(Verse 2)
Five people that I know, 40 that I don't know
Everybody's phones at seven percent
Four pretty girls all got the same haircut
Down on a lake beach

Dragged my Yeti down a two-mile road
Every step I take I maybe squash a baby toad
Diaper in the water with a heavy-ass load
Down on a lake beach

My girlfriend didn't show up, but my uncle did
And he's not fun to play cornhole with
He's got weird gear and he knows all the rules
And he can't tell that that's not the vibe

(Spoken)

{UNCLE}
That one bounced off the ground! That does not count!

{SINGER}
Relax, man, he's just a kid

{UNCLE}
If he's old enough to play, he's old enough to know the rules! Take the bag off the board! That's how the pros play!
(Bridge)

{MUDPUDDLE}
Whiskey shot
Tequila shot
Wish I got
A tetanus shot
Fat guy in a tank with t-shirt tan line
Granny's big yams gettin' fried in the sunshine
Raccoon in the water, didn't know they could swim
Brought a whole lot of bread, not a lot of sandwich stuff
Three loaves of white bread but not any ham
One dirty toddler, no one's claiming him
Screamin' at kids not to swim that way
'Cause that's where the bats are
That's where the bats are
Stay away from the bats, don't go over there
Half of the lake belongs to the bats

(Chorus)
On a lake beach (I think I blew off my hand)
On a lake beach (Here comes the ambulance)
Rollin' down the hill, sun on the sand
Claimed by the lake beach

On a lake beach (Turn a boy into a man)
Lake beach (No one picks up the cans)
Whole lot of lake, not a lot of land
Down on a lake beach
(Outro)
And the next day we all see each other at church

(Spoken)

{UNCLE}
Hey, everybody