NEZZY OFFICIAL - Journal Entry II
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{Verse 1: NEZZY}
I don’t feel the same as i once did
Truth is, i don’t know who i am theses day
Im at my lowest & nobody knows it
Numbing the pain before i ever show it
How much longer can i ignore
& drown out all the cries from
My inner child with drugs & porn
To just live anymore feels like a chore
Save me before…
The waves get rough & the boat capsize
These thoughts of suicide
Keep me up at night
I can finally understand
Why my cousin took his life
Looking back at the letter that he left behind
Looking at sky like “will it take my pain away?”
“is it worth me shaking these thoughts
& to live to see another day?”
“do you regret that decision you made?”
Cuz I regret a lot of things like
Not being there all the weekends you called
Pushing away the one woman i love
Hoping we can fix this, wit a lil distance
Promise i’ll better bout admitting my wrongs
I just, hope it all ain’t over now
Feels like my whole world came crumbling down
Do we take our own ways & just go about
Cuz i really don’t know which route to take
At this crossroad, i’ve lost hope
& i’m a long way from home
I sincerely apologize, for all the times
Id shut down, without a reason why
Hiding any sign of fear in my eyes
Just withhold this image of man
You got caught up in the crossfire
Of this war that i’m at with myself again
Fuck
{Verse 2: NEZZY}
Suicide is a permanent solution
To a temporary problem
When you at rock bottom
I know it feels like your only option
But you gotta remind yourself
That hell is a mental state
& it feels like there’s no escaping this dark place
I know but the smile on my face
Getting harder to fake
I don’t know how much more
Of this façade I can take
But for every breakdown there’s a breakthrough
Gotta stay true, can't grow through
What you go through if you don’t make room
From the start i became doomed
I’m just trynna give ya something to relate to
It’s the first of the month & the rents due
Your above ground
But your stress through the roof
All alone witcha demons
& feels like no one’s defending you
Its a vicious cycle, don’t be sitting idle
Let the engine run, your ambitions vital
I need some space, time to pump the brakes
My social battery’s completely drained
I’m, writing this from a birds eye view
Trynna see the situation from a different altitude
But, in the heat of the moment
I’m so impulsive & highly explosive
You don’t wanna catch me
On a bad day with road rage
Imma swerve this car & take another man’s life
It’s sad to say my ability to write
Is the only thing keeping me alive
This blank page is my resting place
Here lies my troubled mind
I took a spade then dug a grave
Just to bury my emotions inside
{Verse 1: NEZZY}
I don’t feel the same as i once did
Truth is, i don’t know who i am theses day
Im at my lowest & nobody knows it
Numbing the pain before i ever show it
How much longer can i ignore
& drown out all the cries from
My inner child with drugs & porn
To just live anymore feels like a chore
Save me before…
The waves get rough & the boat capsize
These thoughts of suicide
Keep me up at night
I can finally understand
Why my cousin took his life
Looking back at the letter that he left behind
Looking at sky like “will it take my pain away?”
“is it worth me shaking these thoughts
& to live to see another day?”
“do you regret that decision you made?”
Cuz I regret a lot of things like
Not being there all the weekends you called
Pushing away the one woman i love
Hoping we can fix this, wit a lil distance
Promise i’ll better bout admitting my wrongs
I just, hope it all ain’t over now
Feels like my whole world came crumbling down
Do we take our own ways & just go about
Cuz i really don’t know which route to take
At this crossroad, i’ve lost hope
& i’m a long way from home
I sincerely apologize, for all the times
Id shut down, without a reason why
Hiding any sign of fear in my eyes
Just withhold this image of man
You got caught up in the crossfire
Of this war that i’m at with myself again
Fuck
{Verse 2: NEZZY}
Suicide is a permanent solution
To a temporary problem
When you at rock bottom
I know it feels like your only option
But you gotta remind yourself
That hell is a mental state
& it feels like there’s no escaping this dark place
I know but the smile on my face
Getting harder to fake
I don’t know how much more
Of this façade I can take
But for every breakdown there’s a breakthrough
Gotta stay true, can't grow through
What you go through if you don’t make room
From the start i became doomed
I’m just trynna give ya something to relate to
It’s the first of the month & the rents due
Your above ground
But your stress through the roof
All alone witcha demons
& feels like no one’s defending you
Its a vicious cycle, don’t be sitting idle
Let the engine run, your ambitions vital
I need some space, time to pump the brakes
My social battery’s completely drained
I’m, writing this from a birds eye view
Trynna see the situation from a different altitude
But, in the heat of the moment
I’m so impulsive & highly explosive
You don’t wanna catch me
On a bad day with road rage
Imma swerve this car & take another man’s life
It’s sad to say my ability to write
Is the only thing keeping me alive
This blank page is my resting place
Here lies my troubled mind
I took a spade then dug a grave
Just to bury my emotions inside
