Carlix Rin - Internal Objects

{intro}
I can’t feel anymore
I wonder if i ever felt before

{chorus}
Where did it all start? where did it all start?
Where did it all start? where did it all start?

{verse}
Could’ve been when i was six years old
I messed everything up
Had all the dance moves memorized
But i still went into shock

For too long i searched for help
But there was none to be found
I could not rely on others
So i never asked for help

Always had low self-esteem
Didn’t deserve confidence
Scared to have too much and be
A selfish narcissist

Hated being complimented
‘cause i knew it all was fake
Never did anything worthy
Never earned my birthday cake

{chorus}
Where did it go next? what happened next?
Where did it go next? what happened next?

{verse}
Started dating when i was 13
The numbers added up
Jumped from one person to the next
Guess that feeling never stuck

At 15 i broke my record
Of staying with someone
Yeah i should’ve celebrated
But instead i felt frustrated

At 18 i was engaged
But some things did not sit right
Quickly wanting to have kids
Not sure if we’d treat them right

At 19, made a new record
Stayed together for nine months
Yeah i thought everything was fine
My friends helped me connect the dots

{chorus}
What what what
What what what
What what what
Is up up now
Where are you now?
What what what
What what what
What what what
Is up up now
Where are you now?

{verse}
Started eating chicken strips
My choices weren’t the best
After losing hope many times
I flew and left the nest

Started life in a new place
The change i faced was rough
Fell for someone really quickly
But getting friendzoned really sucked

{bridge}
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, let’s count the mistakes i made then
11, 12, 13, the life i lived it was a dream
14, 15, 16, 17, my worst years when i was a teen
18, 19, 20, 21, bad years still come, life ain’t done

{verse}
Yeah i know should probably stop
Life ain’t all bad, i’ll just shop
Buying things won’t make me sane
I’m now friends with nick and jane
Jane and i get along so-so
Every day nick’s my go-go
My lungs scream please please no-no
My brain says “yes hoe, let’s go”

21, 20, 19, 18, attached to the couch and tv screen
17, 16, 15, 14, couldn’t hold back on making a scene
13, 12, 11, my innocent thoughts went to heaven
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, internal objects i need to fix

{outro}
I can’t feel anymore
I wonder if i ever felt before
I can’t feel anymore
I wonder if i ever felt before