Phora - Myself Again

{chorus}
Look, i don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I just wanna be myself, i just wanna be myself again
I don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I just wanna be myself, i just wanna be myself again, yeah

{verse}
I know my mom worry 'bout me, it's been hard to handle
I feel the devil everywhere, it's followin' my shadow
Between myself and fightin' family, it's too much to battle
Hard to trust most people in l.a. 'cause all these people shallow
Everywhere i go, i feel a cloud on me
Rainin' down on me, i just wanna do good but no one's proud of me
Fuck, wish a fеw people stuck around for me
I just feel if god еxists, he's probably lookin' down on me (damn)
Stabbed in the back by the people i trust
Ever seen someone for who they were and it made you disgusted?
Old friends wanna see me fail, fuck the rumors, still prevail
I would say i wish 'em well but there's a special place in hell
For people who betrayed the only ones that gave a fuck
When i lost it all, my phone stopped ringin', that should say enough
I just couldn't wait for you, couldn't stay broke for you
I'd rather my cryin' in a rolls or mercedes truck
Way i feel is nothin' new, i grew up feelin' fuckin' worthless
I was too much of a sinner, even for the churches
Felt like i was too much for my family, i was just a burden
Thing we call life, wanted to quit, tried to control the urges
But i was born into a world where it's too hard to feel
Only chances that we have was sell drugs, rob or kill
Dancin' with the devil, hard for me to see that god was real
All i ever saw was murders over pride and dollar bills
Lost all i had, no one was checkin' on me
Family fell apart, christmas was empty for me
But people start to come around when they need some money
Tried to give 'em shoes to walk in, realized they was steppin' on me
Most of my friends are buried in the dirt or in a cage
I guess i'm traumatized by life, i should be in a grave
Lights close down, fans scream when i hit the stage
But they'll never know the reason why i feel this way

{chorus}
Look, i don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I just wanna be myself, i just wanna be myself again
I don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I don't wanna feel numb no more (no more)
I just wanna be myself, i just wanna be myself again