Saturday Night Live - Gonna Be a Better Cowboy

{COWBOY ROB}
Another year has come and gone
And still we ride the range
And as the new year faces us
A cowboy ponders change

I decided this year to quit smokin' for good

{COWBOY DANA}
I'm givin' up red meat and butter

{COWBOY PHIL}
I'm gonna alternate shots of tequila
With a big-ass tumbler of water

{COWBOY ROB}
Well, I won't take a whiz on the campfire this year

{COWBOY DANA}
And if I get married, I'll show up

{COWBOY PHIL}
And I'm gonna watch where I spit when I chew

{COWBOY ROB}
This may be the year that we grow up

{ALL}
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
I'm gonna be a better cowboy
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
Gonna be a better cowboy

{COWBOY DANA}
I'm gonna make sex an expression of love
And not just a means of escape

{COWBOY ROB}
I'm gonna stay out of those romantic flings
That are often mistaken for rape

{COWBOY PHIL}
And let's keep our hands off the cattle this year
And not just 'cause they had us arrested

{COWBOY ROB}
It's bad enough that they're all gonna be killed
They don't need to be touched or molested

{ALL}
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
I'm gonna be a better cowboy
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
Gonna be a better cowboy

{COWBOY ROB}
Well, I'm not gonna shoot at your feet anymore
Yellin' "Dance, little sissy boy, dance!"
And when you take a break, I won't holler "Stampede!"
When I see that you're droppin' your pants

{COWBOY DANA}
I'm gonna get over depression this year
And stop cursin' the day I was born

{COWBOY PHIL}
And I won't be turnin' my saddle around
And ride down the trail on the horn

{ALL}
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
I'm gonna be a better cowboy
Whoopee-ti-yi-yippee
Whoopee-ti-yi-yo
Gonna be a better cowboy