Saturday Night Live - Short-Ass Movies
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{Intro: Pete Davidson}
These days, when I wanna sit down and watch a movie, I can find just about anything in the world. But night after night, there's only one kinda movie I'm always looking for
{Hook: Pete Davidson, Gunna}
And that's a short-ass movie
A really short movie
Like, at most, an hour forty
Gimme that short-ass movie
A short-ass movie
A really short movie
'Cause you know I ain't gonna sit here
And watch no long-ass movie
{Verse 1: Pete Davidson, Gunna}
Found a flick, I'm 'bout to pick it
But right before I click it
I look down right below the line
And that's when I see the runtime
Three hours forty-seven minutes? Bro, you must be crazy
No thanks, I'mma watch a short-ass movie like Driving Miss Daisy
I'm not pushing "P" unless it's under two hours
Like Lion King or Bad Moms or all three Austin Powers
I heard that Batman was great, so went to a theater and saw it
I pissed my pants twice, that s--- was longer than The Hobbit
{Hook: Pete Davidson, Gunna}
Gimme that short-ass movie
A 90-minute movie
Like Liar Liar, Evil Dead, Punch-Drunk Love, or Eraserhead
A short-ass movie
A really short movie
'Cause I'm a really simple man
With no attention span
{Verse 2: Chris Redd, Pete Davidson}
Gimme a short-ass movie like Bambi
Got to be tiny but good like shrimp scampi
And when it's movie night, you won't be gettin' any yesses
When you roll up to the crib with one of those double VHSs
{Spoken: Gunna}
Why this movie look like a book?
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
Bye bye!
{Gunna, Chris Redd, Pete Davidson}
I always keep it a hundred
Keep the runtime under a hundred
And when my ass stuck on the couch for over two hours, it causes discomfort
We tried to watch that movie Heat when we was hanging at my house
But barely 20 minutes in, my boys were drooling on the couch
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
The only one not sleeping is the weird guy who picked the movie
{Spoken: James Austin Johnson}
I stand by my choice
{Hook: Pete Davidson, Chris Redd}
Gimme that short-ass movie
A really short movie
Like Encino Man, yes please
Or Good Time by the Safdies
A short- ass movie
A really short movie
If it's long, my eyes get glassy
Now tell 'em how it is, Dark Nasty
{Verse 3: Simon Rex, Pete Davidson}
Yo, it's your boy Dark
If you really like short movies
I got nine great ones just waitin' for ya
There's Ernest Goes to Camp and Ernest Saves Christmas
And Ernest Goes to Jail and Ernest Scared Stupid
There's Ernest Goes to School, that's only 89 minutes
And Slam Dunk Ernest, that one's got Kareem in it
There's Ernest in the Army, that one made me wanna join the service
And Ernest Goes to Africa, that poster makes me nervous
But the greatest thing of all, a true thing of beauty
Is the three minute short before every Pixar movie
{Spoken: Chris Redd}
It was so short, but so sad
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
Yo, so think about this: Sex and the City 2 was two hours and 26 minutes long. To put that in perspective, the movie Jurassic Park was two hours and seven minutes long. That was a movie that told the history of dinosaurs, how DNA works, and explained the science of bringing dinosaurs back to life. And Sex and the City 2 , y'know, which was a movie about four women we already knew, was 20 minutes longer. I'm not saying that's bad or anything, I'm just saying that's crazy s---, right?
{Spoken: Simon Rex}
How long was The King of Staten Island?
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
It was, it was, like, two hours and 17 minutes, but we needed, we needed all those minutes
{Hook: All}
Gimme a short-ass movie
A really short movie
Gimme a short-ass movie
A really short movie
Every night
{Intro: Pete Davidson}
These days, when I wanna sit down and watch a movie, I can find just about anything in the world. But night after night, there's only one kinda movie I'm always looking for
{Hook: Pete Davidson, Gunna}
And that's a short-ass movie
A really short movie
Like, at most, an hour forty
Gimme that short-ass movie
A short-ass movie
A really short movie
'Cause you know I ain't gonna sit here
And watch no long-ass movie
{Verse 1: Pete Davidson, Gunna}
Found a flick, I'm 'bout to pick it
But right before I click it
I look down right below the line
And that's when I see the runtime
Three hours forty-seven minutes? Bro, you must be crazy
No thanks, I'mma watch a short-ass movie like Driving Miss Daisy
I'm not pushing "P" unless it's under two hours
Like Lion King or Bad Moms or all three Austin Powers
I heard that Batman was great, so went to a theater and saw it
I pissed my pants twice, that s--- was longer than The Hobbit
{Hook: Pete Davidson, Gunna}
Gimme that short-ass movie
A 90-minute movie
Like Liar Liar, Evil Dead, Punch-Drunk Love, or Eraserhead
A short-ass movie
A really short movie
'Cause I'm a really simple man
With no attention span
{Verse 2: Chris Redd, Pete Davidson}
Gimme a short-ass movie like Bambi
Got to be tiny but good like shrimp scampi
And when it's movie night, you won't be gettin' any yesses
When you roll up to the crib with one of those double VHSs
{Spoken: Gunna}
Why this movie look like a book?
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
Bye bye!
{Gunna, Chris Redd, Pete Davidson}
I always keep it a hundred
Keep the runtime under a hundred
And when my ass stuck on the couch for over two hours, it causes discomfort
We tried to watch that movie Heat when we was hanging at my house
But barely 20 minutes in, my boys were drooling on the couch
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
The only one not sleeping is the weird guy who picked the movie
{Spoken: James Austin Johnson}
I stand by my choice
{Hook: Pete Davidson, Chris Redd}
Gimme that short-ass movie
A really short movie
Like Encino Man, yes please
Or Good Time by the Safdies
A short- ass movie
A really short movie
If it's long, my eyes get glassy
Now tell 'em how it is, Dark Nasty
{Verse 3: Simon Rex, Pete Davidson}
Yo, it's your boy Dark
If you really like short movies
I got nine great ones just waitin' for ya
There's Ernest Goes to Camp and Ernest Saves Christmas
And Ernest Goes to Jail and Ernest Scared Stupid
There's Ernest Goes to School, that's only 89 minutes
And Slam Dunk Ernest, that one's got Kareem in it
There's Ernest in the Army, that one made me wanna join the service
And Ernest Goes to Africa, that poster makes me nervous
But the greatest thing of all, a true thing of beauty
Is the three minute short before every Pixar movie
{Spoken: Chris Redd}
It was so short, but so sad
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
Yo, so think about this: Sex and the City 2 was two hours and 26 minutes long. To put that in perspective, the movie Jurassic Park was two hours and seven minutes long. That was a movie that told the history of dinosaurs, how DNA works, and explained the science of bringing dinosaurs back to life. And Sex and the City 2 , y'know, which was a movie about four women we already knew, was 20 minutes longer. I'm not saying that's bad or anything, I'm just saying that's crazy s---, right?
{Spoken: Simon Rex}
How long was The King of Staten Island?
{Spoken: Pete Davidson}
It was, it was, like, two hours and 17 minutes, but we needed, we needed all those minutes
{Hook: All}
Gimme a short-ass movie
A really short movie
Gimme a short-ass movie
A really short movie
Every night
