Jaesohn - Pain

{chorus}
Everyday i feel the pain
Swear to god everyday feel like the same day
Honestly never thought this shit would go away
Told myself everyday that i don’t wanna stay
Never did a drug to help me cope with the pain
Since this shit happened things haven’t been the same
I was fourteen with suicide on the brain
And my emotions were the hardest things to ever tame

{verse 1}
If i wasn’t here
I wouldn’t see tomorrow
If i followed my plan
I would feel no more sorrow
Where i live ain’t tough
But i still grew up rough
Never found myself happy
Always thought ‘bout givin’ up
Miserable everyday
Hard to get out of bed
Knowing that there’s gonna be another pointless day ahead
No matter what i say
The pain won’t go away
So now i tell myself
I don’t wanna stay
Went from being alright
To being pushed in the gutter
When i talk about suicide
I don’t even stutter

{chorus}
Everyday i feel the pain
Swear to god everyday feel like the same day
Honestly never thought this shit would go away
Told myself everyday that i don’t wanna stay
Never did a drug to help me cope with the pain
Since this shit happened things haven’t been the same
I was fourteen with suicide on the brain
And my emotions were the hardest things to ever tame

{verse 2}
I took some pills and brought them shits to school
Ain’t do that shit cus i thought that it was cool
Was gonna overdose thinking it'd be painless
Was the best option that would’ve left me stainless
That night before i even went to bed
Thought bout' how everyone would feel if i was dead
Spoke to myself one last time in the dark
Just to make sure i don’t choke and that i play my part
Everyday i had thoughts of suicide
Damn i just wanna motherfucking die
Man i hate how things ain’t the same
Why did things change
Now i’m left with all this pain

{chorus}
Everyday i feel the pain
Swear to god everyday feel like the same day
Honestly never thought this shit would go away
Told myself everyday that i don’t wanna stay
Never did a drug to help me cope with the pain
Since this shit happened things haven’t been the same
I was fourteen with suicide on the brain
And my emotions were the hardest things to ever tame

{verse 3}
I didn’t stay because i had hope, i only stayed because i had a heart
I only stayed because i wanted love, but then you left me alone in the dark
One year later i was still feeling you, and all i wanted was to play the part
And the way you made me feel, and the way i made you feel, is something that's forever left a mark on my heart
They say that jaesohn always tryna love
Well that’s because i’ve got the biggest heart
No matter what they try to do, feelings i wish i could undo
Its shattered remaining pieces won't ever fall apart
Three years ago i was suicidal
Would've used them pills instead of a knife
But if i didn't love that girl, and if she didn’t mean the world
I swear i to god i would've took my fucking life