Matthew Ebel - Everybody Needs a Ninja
-’cause you never know when someone else might want to see you dead
Everybody needs a ninja, ninjas know just when to strike
Though they dress the same, I’d never say that they all look alike
(’cause that ain’t right)
They do ninja moves with ninja things
Watch ninja ball with ninja wings
And ninja beers that they can kill
One bottle at a time
They strike from near or far away
You’ll never know if you’re their prey
They always make their getaway-
No ninja-prints or stars arе left behind
Everybody needs a ninja, maybе one or two at work
So that you can use one when your boss is acting like a jerk
Everybody needs a ninja, well that’s a simple fact of life
They can kill with sheets of paper, they don’t need no stinking knife
They live their lives so secretly
And ninjas kill so gracefully
They leap from tree to tree like
Jackie Chan or Chow Yun-Fat
They use their super ninja-power
To kill someone at any hour
They could be hiding in your shower
You never know just where they’re at
Everybody needs a ninja, ninja podcasts are the best
But they only let you listen if you pass a ninja test
(Not like the rest.)
Everybody needs a ninja, it’s good to have one on your side
Everybody loves a friend who would avenge them if they died
(That’s ninja pride.)
The ninjas are your biggest fan
If you’re a member of their clan
And if you’re not your plan had better
Be to run like hell
’cause ninjas find you anywhere
There might be ninjas in your hair
Or hiding in your underwear
They’re everywhere but nobody can tell
Everybody needs a ninja. There’s one right behind me now
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